Ghana Meteorological Agency Discovers Weather App After 95 Days of Identical Thunderstorm Forecasts

After more than three months of confidently issuing the same daily warning — “Thunderstorms likely in the middle and coastal belts” — the Ghana Meteorological Agency (GMet) has reportedly discovered that smartphones come pre-installed with weather apps in what officials are calling a “spiritual awakening”. This seismic shift in operational strategy came after a junior officer mistakenly opened the pre-installed Weather app on a government-issued phone while trying to check his mobile money balance.

The almost forgotten agency, long thought to operate on a mix of gut feeling and recycled clouds from last week, has since launched an internal investigation into why they’ve been spending millions on radar equipment when Google already knows what’s up. “We’ve been battling the clouds spiritually and scientifically,” confessed one technician. “But this phone—this phone just knows the truth. And it does it without using vague belt terminology like the middle or transitional belt which quite frankly, I don't understand.”

Since the discovery, GMet has suspended traditional forecasting methods such as squinting at the horizon or studying the movement of migratory birds. Plans are underway to replace daily briefings with simple screenshots from AccuWeather, accompanied by motivational quotes like “Prepare for the worst but carry small umbrella.” Experts believe this could usher in a new era of passive-aggressive accuracy and quiet redundancy.

Meanwhile, residents across the country have expressed mixed feelings. “So all these years, they were just guessing?” said a woman in Takoradi, wiping rain from her face while standing under a GMet-branded billboard that still reads “Clear and Bright Skies in the Coastal Belt.”