Ghana Wins Guinness Record for Most Pointless Guinness World Records

In a year that has seen Ghanaians conquer all manner of bizarre challenges, from hugging trees for 24 hours straight to applying makeup for five consecutive days, Ghanaians have demonstrated a remarkable ability to turn the mundane into the mind-numbingly absurd. And the rest of the world can now officially acknowledge that we are, without a doubt, the undisputed champions of the utterly unnecessary.

First off, we'll give a round of applause to Abdul Hakim Awal, the 23-year-old journalist who spent a whole day and some hours hugging a tree. While we're made to believe this act of arboreal affection was for forest conservation, there was obvious confusion on the faces of the trees, who kept wondering what exactly they did to deserve this strange, extended embrace. And then there's Roselyn Akosua Mantey, the makeup artist who spent five days applying makeup, breaking the record previously held by Ghana's Second Lady Samira Bawumia for the most foundation and concealer used in a single sitting.

Setting aside groundbreaking scientific records for next year, the nation is still fielding applications for other mind-boggling records this year, including the record for the most hand gestures while greeting someone, and the fastest time to eat two round servings of fufu with goat light soup.

These enviable records demand our utmost admiration, because many are those who tried and failed: Chef Faila, bless her ambitious heart, attempted a legitimate cooking marathon, fueled by sheer determination and only one Blue Jeans energy drink; Executive Admiral Millennium Chef Smith, had hoped to better Chef Faila's attempt, but had to resort to a different technique involving a forged record from Dr. UN; Afua Asantewaa, our very own singing marathoner, serenaded the nation for days on end, but only ended up with a really bad cough and a broken voice.

One thing's for sure, 2024 will go down in history as the year Ghanaians decided to be the very best – at the very useless.