Gov’t Proud to Increase Minimum Wage from $1.17 to $1.29 — or, as it prefers to put it, ‘by 10%’

In a move hailed by officials as a “giant leap for the Ghanaian worker,” the government has generously bumped the daily minimum wage from a staggering $1.17 to an even more earth-shattering $1.29. While some economists are calling the 12 cents increase “a bold statement,” many workers are dismissing it as “a rounding error” — roughly the cost of one-third of a meat pie and a suspiciously warm sachet of water.

The National Tripartite Committee insists that focusing on raw figures misses the bigger picture, that the 10% figure sounds far more generous than “just 12 cents,” especially when presented on a PowerPoint slide with bold fonts and fancy graphs. “This is a major victory for workers,” declared one official, before stepping into his air-conditioned V8. Meanwhile, workers across the country squinted at their calculators, recalculating their budgets to see if the extra coins could finally unlock long-dreamed luxuries — or at least push them over the poverty line and reduce their daily commute fare by a quarter.

The committee defended the “massive hike” as a bold response to rising living costs. When asked exactly how this would ease economic hardships, one member shrugged and said, “You know, what is it they say about little drops of water? They make mighty oceans!” They also touted the wage as “tax-exempt,” ensuring no pesewa would be snatched by the state — a kind gesture, considering there’s barely enough to snatch.

But critics argue the government is doing the economic equivalent of placing a leaf over a pothole, hoping no one notices. Meanwhile, the government warned that businesses failing to implement the new rate would face legal consequences, though most factory employers are reportedly finding it easier saving up the increase to add an egg to workers' lunch on Fridays.