"Let There be Light!" - Mahama Promises Constant Sunlight and Moonlight

President John Dramani Mahama has declared that Ghanaians will no longer live in darkness – at least during the day – thanks to the reliable consistency of the sun. Speaking to a captivated audience at the Ahmadiyya Muslim Mission, Mahama proclaimed, "Let there be light!" and was met with polite applause and murmurs that this could be the most sustainable energy policy yet.

Drawing inspiration from the book of Genesis, Mahama reassured Ghanaians that while power plants might falter, the celestial duo of the sun and moon remain steadfast. "Sunlight and moonlight are God’s gifts, and as your President, I promise you unlimited access to both," he announced, radiating confidence. He went on to praise their flawless service record, noting that they have worked tirelessly without maintenance since creation – a feat unmatched by even the most ambitious GRIDCo timelines.

Critics, however, were less impressed. They noted that Mahama’s solution conveniently bypasses the nation’s fragile power grid, which they described as "the Jenga tower of Africa." "This isn’t a plan; it’s like one of those statements of affirmation preached by motivational speakers," scoffed one energy analyst. While sunlight might illuminate Ghanaians during the day, questions about how to keep the lights on at night, when Dumsor reigns supreme, remain unanswered. "Moonlight is romantic," remarked an Accra resident, "but how often do we even get that?"

Meanwhile, Dumsor, the nation’s ever-present energy foe, seemed unfazed by Mahama’s divine decree. From the depths of a blackout, it made a chilling post from its Twitter account @dumsor_forever, claiming, "I’ve been here since before creation and will stay long after. Yours in Darkness." For now, Ghanaians are left to wonder whether Mahama’s promise of light was meant to be literal, metaphorical, or merely a poetic acknowledgment of the sun’s commitment to its unpaid labour.