Mahama to Downsize National Cathedral into Trotro Preacher Training Centre

In a dramatic shift, President John Mahama has announced plans to convert Ghana’s half-built National Cathedral into a budget-friendly Trotro Preacher Training Centre. This pivot, he explained, is a response to the nation’s financial reality and a $400 million price tag that feels more like a holy joke than a feasible project. "We can’t afford a grand temple for God with 800 cedis," Mahama admitted, "but we can at least train people to preach His word over trotro engines. Besides, the average Ghanaian already hears more sermons in traffic than in church."

Drawing inspiration from Nigeria’s $30 million Ecumenical Centre, Mahama declared that the revamped cathedral would focus on Ghana’s true evangelists: the men and women shouting Bible verses over honking horns and pothole-ridden roads. The move, Mahama said, would provide dual benefits: cutting costs while serving as a symbol of national unity and divine reverence. "Let’s face it, this country doesn’t need a cathedral to remind us of God—we have thousands of churches and more pastors than functioning streetlights."

Critics of the original project argue that the real sins of Ghana—corruption, greed, and unaccounted-for funds—wouldn’t be solved by a shiny dome but by something as radical as, say, honesty in governance. “If our sins haven’t been fixed by the churches we already have, will a big one solve them? Or does God need a giant speaker system to hear us?” a bystander asked.

The academy will reportedly feature courses in Megaphone Mastery, Standing in Moving Vehicles, and Guilt-Induced Offertory Collection. While some mourn the loss of the original vision, others say the Trotro Preacher Academy is a fitting metaphor for Ghana’s questionable priorities.