Minority Outraged that Justice Minister Cannot Dance, Demands Immediate Disqualification

Ghana’s Parliament descended into chaos yesterday after Minority MPs expressed sheer outrage over Justice Minister nominee Justice Srem-Sai’s refusal to "bust a move" during his vetting, accusing him of a "disturbing lack of rhythm". The controversy erupted when Minority Leader Alexander Afenyo-Markin, in an effort to assess the nominee’s cultural competence, requested a simple borborbor demonstration. Srem-Sai, shockingly, declined. This refusal, according to Minority MPs, was a slap in the face of Ghanaian heritage, and calls into question Srem-Sai’s commitment to Ghanaian values. “We cannot entrust justice to a man who doesn’t even know how to ‘feel the beat,’” Afenyo-Markins fumed, shaking his head.

The Minority immediately called for his disqualification, arguing that his rigid posture and suspicious reluctance to engage in cultural expression raised serious concerns. “If he lacks the flexibility to dance, how do we expect him to navigate the complexities of our legal system?” John Darko, Member of Parliament for Suame explained. Tensions escalated when the same John Darko dramatically attempted to demonstrate the “proper way” to accept a ministerial nomination—by executing a flawless Adowa routine right in the chamber. An attempt to make Srem-Sai redeem himself by performing at least one legwork move failed when the nominee instead tried to explain the constitutional limits of dance-based vetting, which only infuriated the Minority further.

Justice Srem-Sai has since said he is open to considering private dance lessons, but only on the condition that the Constitution is amended to allow legal arguments to be settled via dance-offs.

Political analysts predict that this scandal could set a dangerous precedent, with future ministerial nominees expected to prove competence through everything from azonto to kpanlogo. Supporters of Srem-Sai insist that legal knowledge, not footwork, should determine leadership, though Minority MPs remain unconvinced. “What if he gets invited to an international conference and disgraces us on the dance floor?” Afenyo-Markin fumed. “Is that the kind of national image we want?”