Napo's Election Gaffes Attributed to Kumchacha's Spiritual Remote Control

Prophet Kumchacha has confessed to being the architect behind Napo’s 2024 campaign missteps, claiming he used a divine remote control to guide the politician’s tongue into chaos. Speaking on Onua TV, Kumchacha explained how each blunder was a result of meticulous spiritual engineering, inspired by his mission to ensure the NPP’s defeat and 'spice things up'. "If I didn’t press the right buttons, they might have won," he bragged. Here, Kumchacha takes us through five of his greatest hits.

1. The ‘Your Kwame Nkrumah’ Comment
"For this one, I pressed the 'Overconfidence Booster' button," Kumchacha began. "That’s what made him declare Nana Addo greater than Kwame Nkrumah. I wanted to see how Ghanaians would react to hearing that their founding father was suddenly second place. I wanted every historian in Ghana to sit up and scream, ‘What?!’"

2. Mistaken Endorsement of Mahama
"Ah, this was my favorite,” Kumchacha said, grinning. "I pressed the 'Opposition Shout-Out' button. Napo didn’t even realize he was urging people to vote for Mahama until it was too late. I even added some reverb for dramatic effect. I made sure the crowd was chanting before he could take it back."

3. ‘Even God Sleeps at Night’ Remark
"This one was special. I pressed the 'Divine Comedy' button," Kumchacha said with a smirk, "and suddenly Napo thought he was writing the Bible's sequel. Napo basically argued that Ghana can’t have a 24-hour economy because God also sleeps. Even the angels were shocked."

4. Zongo Mortuary Warning
"This was the ‘Scare Them Small’ button," Kumchacha explained. "It made him warn Zongo communities that voting for the NDC would turn their mosques into mortuaries. The drama was so much that even I started to believe it."

5. NDC Killing Chiefs and Pastors
"For this, I used the 'Blame Them All' button,” Kumchacha said. "It convinces the speaker that the opposition is behind every bad thing—from chiefs mysteriously dying to pastors misplacing their Bibles."

Reflecting on his work, Kumchacha proudly declared, "I didn’t just work on NAPO, I worked on all of them—Bawumia, Nana Addo, even their supporters whom I controlled with the 'Do Not Disturb' button, which is obviously why they didn't come out to vote.