ORAL: Ghana's Looted Items to Come out of Hiding...to Find New Hiding Places

Operation Recover All Loot (ORAL) launched today – a bold initiative promising to hunt down hidden wealth in everything from offshore accounts to TV remotes and flowerpots – and is already generating quite the buzz, or perhaps more accurately, a frantic scramble among those who may have acquired some state assets they can’t quite explain. According to committee chairman, Okudzeto Ablakwa, if you haven't stolen anything, you have nothing to fear from ORAL, which is a comforting statement unless, of course, you're Chef Smith, or you inherited the assets from distant relatives, like your husband's mother's son's wife – and it's hiding in your suitcase.

One such person whom Ablakwa's assurances didn't assuage their jitter, but instead sparked a fierce reaction, is the immediate-past Majority Leader, Alexander Afenyo-Markin. Markin expressed grave concerns, describing ORAL as a "wild goose chase" which is sure to cause "fear and harassment", which is a very poetic way of saying it’s a political witch hunt designed to settle scores. According to Afenyo-Markin, existing institutions are perfectly capable of fighting corruption, as if all they needed was newer batteries in their flashlights.

But behind the noise, whispers have already begun from Ghanaians, seasoned experts in the cyclical nature of corruption: this isn’t about justice—it’s about checking whether anything remains for the new government to stash away. "They’ll recover all the loot today," said Kwame Nkrumah, a taxi driver. "And tomorrow, they’ll start hiding it again. It’s like passing around the same chop bar bowl—everyone takes a turn, but the soup never stays."

Political analysts are already predicting the rise of innovative asset hiding among the new administration’s appointees, with stolen funds likely to find refuge in grain silos, empty boreholes, or even church offering bowls.