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SDA Church Launches Holy Tinder: Only Bibles as Profile Pics, Absolutely No Outsiders

The Seventh-Day Adventist Church has boldly stepped into the digital age with a groundbreaking dating app dubbed "Holy Tinder." The app, designed exclusively for church members, bans outsiders from swiping in, ensuring that members only mingle with the sanctified. Designed to keep outsiders far from the holy flock,

'Single' Asylum Seeker Misses 2 Wives and 9 Kids He Swore Didn't Exist

Wahab, a Ghanaian man turned "single, persecuted asylum seeker" in Canada, has become the poster child for the dangers of fictional storytelling gone too far. After confidently declaring to immigration officials that he was a lone man fleeing societal persecution due to "personal reasons", Wahab now

Fella to Cut Her Arm as New Rose Tattoo Fails to Cover Medikal's Name

Fella Makafui, ever the queen of dramatic flair, is reportedly considering parting ways with her left arm after her latest tattoo—a rose meant to cover the remnants of Medikal’s name—failed to do its job. The rose, described by onlookers as "artistically ambitious, but really, really crooked&

Mahama to Downsize National Cathedral into Trotro Preacher Training Centre

In a dramatic shift, President John Mahama has announced plans to convert Ghana’s half-built National Cathedral into a budget-friendly Trotro Preacher Training Centre. This pivot, he explained, is a response to the nation’s financial reality and a $400 million price tag that feels more like a holy joke

A Plus Rides Okada, Declares Helicopters a Necessity for MPs Avoiding Traffic

World-renowned loudmouth and current MP for Gomoa Central, Kwame A Plus, after years of lambasting MPs for their flashy sirens and noisy convoys, has found himself eating his words—and a mouthful of Accra's lovely air pollution—while stuck in traffic on his way to Parliament. Desperation forced

Napo's Election Gaffes Attributed to Kumchacha's Spiritual Remote Control

Prophet Kumchacha has confessed to being the architect behind Napo’s 2024 campaign missteps, claiming he used a divine remote control to guide the politician’s tongue into chaos. Speaking on Onua TV, Kumchacha explained how each blunder was a result of meticulous spiritual engineering, inspired by his mission to

"Let There be Light!" - Mahama Promises Constant Sunlight and Moonlight

President John Dramani Mahama has declared that Ghanaians will no longer live in darkness – at least during the day – thanks to the reliable consistency of the sun. Speaking to a captivated audience at the Ahmadiyya Muslim Mission, Mahama proclaimed, "Let there be light!" and was met with polite

Dumelo Dodging Hajia Nasira in Parliament after Fans Suggest He Likes Her

Ghana’s Parliament has become the setting for a primary school romance saga, with John Dumelo avoiding Hajia Nasira Afrah after fans turned a harmless compliment into a full-blown love story. Observers have noted Dumelo’s tactical seat changes, avoiding sitting within two rows of Hajia, much like a 10-year-old

ORAL: Ghana's Looted Items to Come out of Hiding...to Find New Hiding Places

Operation Recover All Loot (ORAL) launched today – a bold initiative promising to hunt down hidden wealth in everything from offshore accounts to TV remotes and flowerpots – and is already generating quite the buzz, or perhaps more accurately, a frantic scramble among those who may have acquired some state assets they

Déjà Vu Looms Over Ghana as Mahama Season 2 Premiers Today

The much-anticipated Mahama Season 2 premiered at Independence Square today, leaving Ghanaians both excited and slightly concerned that they’ve seen this show before. The swearing-in ceremony featured all the familiar highlights: grand promises of economic recovery, job creation, and unity, sparking widespread debates over whether this season will finally

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