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May 2099: Old Man Completes 250km on Foot for Mahama's Inauguration

ACCRA, May 2099 – When 65-year-old Alhaji Yakubu Ayaana set off on foot from Kumasi to Accra in 2025 to witness John Mahama’s inauguration, many expected that he would arrive to find empty chairs, but few could have predicted that he would arrive 74 years later, well after Ghana had

Man Summons Antoa Nyamaa over UK Child Support, Gods Demand Visas First

In a bizarre attempt to dodge UK child support payments, a Ghanaian man has invoked the feared Antoa Nyamaa and Tano River gods, only to be met with an unexpected complication: the gods reportedly require visas before intervening. Armed with eggs, schnapps, and enough fury to power a trotro, the

Minority Demand Cooling Fans Before Facing Fiery First Lady Again

Parliament turned into a pressure cooker this week after First Lady Rebecca Akufo-Addo confronted Deputy Minority Leader Armah-Kofi Buah over his less-than-flattering remarks about her husband’s presidency, delivering what insiders are calling "the hottest confrontation of the Fourth Republic," threatening to confiscate Buah’s tongue if he

Kantamanto Thief's New Year's Resolution Lasted 15 Hours, 10 Minutes

Barely 15 hours after posting his New Year's resolutions on Facebook, a young man is already saying "Whatever" to all his vows in what might be the fastest resolution breakdown of 2025. The man, who reportedly vowed to "turn over a new leaf" and

Tinubu Better than Moses – Nigeria to Reach Promised Land in 1 Year Instead of 40

President Bola Tinubu, equipped with the latest GPS technology to avoid wandering off for 40 years, has declared his unwavering commitment to taking Nigeria to the mythical Promised Land, aiming for a one-year turnaround – a speed that is sure to make Moses jealous. Unfortunately, the exact coordinates of this Promised

No Breakfast on January 6, Or Else Fire and Brimstone – Owusu-Bempah

Rev. Isaac Owusu-Bempah, known for his accurate machine learning-based predictions, has issued one of those bizarre instructions from God for which 31st December watchnight services have come to be so well-known: all NDC supporters and sympathizers – and anyone who loves Ghana, for that matter – are expected to abandon their food

Mahama to Appoint God as Minister for Everything, Citing "Divine Trap" Set by NPP

In a move that’s being hailed as either the most inspired or most desperate act in Ghanaian political history, President-elect John Dramani Mahama has announced that he will be appointing the Almighty God as Minister for Everything. This comes after his impassioned plea for intensified prayer, where he cited

Akufo-Addo Pats Himself on the Back via Award to His Second-In-Command

Personifying the lizard in Chinua Achebe's narrative that jumped from the high iroko tree to the ground and decided to praise himself if no one else did, President Akufo-Addo has bestowed the "Order of the Star of Ghana" upon his Vice President, Dr. Mahamudu Bawumia at

Ghana Wins Guinness Record for Most Pointless Guinness World Records

In a year that has seen Ghanaians conquer all manner of bizarre challenges, from hugging trees for 24 hours straight to applying makeup for five consecutive days, Ghanaians have demonstrated a remarkable ability to turn the mundane into the mind-numbingly absurd. And the rest of the world can now officially

Ghanaian Parents Timing Conception on April 2nd to get MTN’s Christmas Baby Hampers

In what is now becoming a well-calculated annual event, many Ghanaian couples seem to be strategically planning their pregnancies to coincide with the Christmas season in a desperate bid to secure the coveted MTN Christmas baby hampers. These hampers, brimming with baby soap, diapers, and the promise of future data

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