WAEC Miraculously Finds Results After Christmas Bribe, Promises Plenty 8As if Paid Arrears

WAEC has announced that they have finally found the 2024 WASSCE results, hidden under a pile of dirty clothes and socks. The discovery came shortly after WAEC received a hefty Christmas bonus of 35 million cedis from the Ministry of Education, paving way for the results, which had gone missing for several weeks, to be finally released by the end of December.

WAEC's spokesperson, John Kapi, in his breathless excitement, explained that it had never really occurred to anyone to look in the laundry basket. "I mean, we did look under the bed and all, but for some reason, we never thought to look in the laundry basket, you know. The Christmas bonus, sort of, miraculously pointed us in the right direction."

The examination council, known for its ability to make or break destinies, further expressed through Mr. Kapi its utmost relief that university admissions were no longer being left to the universities who were just about resorting to selecting students based on their ability to recite the National Pledge.

WAEC, still owed some 58 million cedis, hinted that further miracles, including an abundance of 8As and a 100 percent pass rate are actually quite possible, but might require more financial blessings from the Ministry.